The last time I ran a blog, I learned a few things about how some people use email. For some reason, the normal rules of communication do not, in some heads, apply to electronic communication. A little basic courtesy and, you know, humanity is all that’s required. It’s very easy.
Please start your email to me with
In fact, I’ll make it even easier for you. My name is ‘Daniel’, so you can start by saying
I don’t mind the informality. I want to be your friend (maybe). I just like emails to me to open with a greeting.
Here are some reasons why you may not receive a reply to your email to me:
- You were rude, aggressive or just wanted to email to tell me how rubbish you think I am
- Your email suggested that you are unable to distinguish between fact and opinion
- Your email contained more than four typographical errors per sentence
- You were trying to sell me something
- You made a claim of direct communication between yourself and a deity or supernatural being
- You appeared to believe that I am someone other than who I say I am
- There was, in your email, some other evidence of only a tenuous grasp on reality (on your part, not mine)
- You offered to show me nude images of yourself, or to perform some kind of sexual service *
- You asked me to do you a ‘favour’ which would actually involve a lot of my time but for which you weren’t planning on paying me
- You chose to explain to me, at enormous length and with supporting illustrations, your philosophy on the world without first establishing whether or not I had any interest in it
- You included the word “communist”, “socialist” or “fascist” without apparently having the remotest idea what those words really mean
- Your interest in my spiritual well-being exceeded my own
- You called me ‘Danny’, or invented a nickname for me that I found inappropriate
- Your message and email address gave no clue as to your name
- You threatened unpleasant repurcussions were I to respond to you
- You forgot to hit ‘send’ and so your message never reached me in the first place.
If social networking is what floats your boat, you can follow my inane Twitter feed @danieljowen
If your interest is professional, you can view my LinkedIn profile. (Please do not ask to connect via LinkedIn unless I actually know you).
Otherwise, to contact me, please fill in the form below:
* There are some people for whom this will, in fact, elicit a reply from me, but those people must be on a pre-determined list that exists only in my head and I’m not going to tell you whether you are on it or not.